A different kind of life

As parents I think it is safe to say we all want a different life for our children, a better life. For some that might mean more money, more toys, a nicer home, or more opportunities. While I want my children to have all their needs met and even a few of their wants, when I think of a different and better life, that is not where my mind goes.

I want my children to be better people. Different people. "A people set apart", as the bible calls us to be. I want them to have characters after Gods and hearts so big they can't help but care for those around them. I want them to have a desire to serve others, one that aches in their very core and has to be answered. I want them to be content with what they have. To be thankful for it. I what them to be good, God fearing people. Honourable people. "Not of this world".

I don't want them to be caught up in the latest trend in video games or the newest action figure. I don't want them to be obsessed with having every new gadget or toy out there. I don't want them to judge others on what they may or may not have. I want them to understand there are things in this life that are so much more important.

This means that we have a lot of work to do. Trev and I are only two of the people they come in contact with. Two voices they hear, two examples they see. There are so many outside influences'. Classmates, teachers, doctors, friends, aunts and uncles, grandparents, television, music and on and on. Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle. Sometimes I feel like throwing up my hands and giving up. Some days I don't know where to start, which new habit or trait to address first. It seems for every step I make in the right direction there are 3 other influences' pulling them back.

The thing is - this is it. This is the time in their lives when their characters and thoughts and actions and personalities are forming. The habits they make now are the most important. While people can change later in life, it is a lot harder to do then just starting out as a certain type of person.

Anyone who has struggled with weight, or addiction, or a character flaw of any kind will tell you that it was a very hard thing to overcome. Once the habit is set it takes a lot of will and desire to change. Unfortunately sometimes if the person does manage to make the changes, and become that person they strive to be, their old habits pull them backward. They revert back to that old person. That person they desperately do not wish to be.

So how can I as a mother influence my children to be selfless, not materialistic, kind, loving, caring, good, intelligent people who love God with their whole heart and want to serve him? How can I accomplish all that when society is trying to make them into the exact opposite? I can't. There is no way that I, as one person can win out over all the other influences' in their lives. Not even Trev and I together can win this never ending battle. Thankfully I know someone bigger. Someone more powerful then all those outside influences'.

The beauty of having a loving, caring, faithful God is that we are never alone. We never have to do anything alone. Especially those impossible feats. We have a Lord and saviour who not only WILL help us, but who WANTS to help us. He wants everything for my children that I do. He wants to help me win the never ending battle, and raise my children to be "a people set apart". He wants them to have a different and better life.

"If the Lord is for me, who can be against me?" (Romans 8:31). I couldn't say it better. This is such a comfort! On days when I feel like the world is winning, like my kids are being yanked in a million wrong directions and like I just can't stop it, I can remember this verse and feel at peace. God wants a different and a better life for my children. God is on MY side! My God is with me, who can be against me?

Our consumer greed and waste.

The last few months have been one long purging spree here at the Bulmer house. I have been filling garbage bag after garbage bag with items to throw out, donate or pass along to family. I have gotten rid of about 10-12 bags full of everything from clothes to toys to kitchen utensils. We have also thrown out a broken glider rocker, an area rug and a broken fish tank.

Yesterday a pulled out a large shopping bag full of shoes from the shoe closet (which I had just cleaned out 2 months earlier) and Trev pulled out half a garbage bag full of clothes from his closet. Today I filled the other half of the garbage bag with clothes from my dresser and closet. We had just donated clothes last month.

This led me to wonder where is all this "stuff" coming from?!? How can I still be pulling out entire bags of things we truly do not use? What's even more sad is the fact that some of the clothes we gave away were purchased less then a year a go. Still in perfect shape, and hardly worn. A few items were gifts, but most we had bought ourselves.

My next thought was WOW, how much money have we wasted on these things we don't even use? It's sort of a scary thought when you think about it. 12 bags of stuff is a lot. The dollar value in that would be quite substantial. How much better off would our family be if we didn't waste money on foolish purchases?

We asked Jacob to clean out his toys before Christmas to make room for the new ones he will undoubtedly receive (seriously, there was no room to put anymore!). After ridding the house of a garbage bag full of toys and looking around thinking "ahh this is all he really needs" is was actually disheartening to realize in one short month there will be even more toys invading our space.

This of course led me to ponder Christmas. How many times do we trudge through the malls buying something, anything to complete our christmas list so we can go home and dwell on how we spent too much money? Sadly, in a lot of cases we are probably spending that money on something that will be thrown out or donated within the next year!

There is nothing less satisfying then spending your money on something just for the sake of buying "something" so you have a gift to give. It doesn't promote a spirit of giving and joy with you or the person you are giving too. This beautiful holiday which was designed to celebrate the birth of our Lord and saviour has become nothing more then a commercialized holiday which promotes over spending, debt, stress and depression.

We have started making about 60 percent of our Christmas gifts and every year I strive to make more. A lot of it is baking, I know this isn't just sitting around cluttering peoples homes. I also give out aesthetic services like pedicures and waxing. We have started to feel less financial stress at Christmas and more joy. We remember the reason for the season a lot more.

Now we just need to become less materialistic over the rest of the year. No more impulse purchases, no more shopping on a whim, and no more spending just for fun! This is my (very) early New Years resolution!

Snowy days

There is something very magical about a nice quiet snow fall. I'm not talking about a snowy day when you have millions of errands to run, or a blizzard going outside and loved ones on the roads. I'm just talking about those rare days when you can sit at home and look out your window at a gentle snow falling from a slightly grey sky.

There is something so cozy and quiet about those days. They also make me want to do something domestic, something like baking or sewing. Then finish the day off by curling up in a snugly blanket with a good book and a steaming cup of tea.

So far today I have baked a loaf a whole wheat bread, and have a loaf of white raising. I also have got quite a bit of cleaning done and a few loads of laundry. I'm looking forward to making some cookies and muffins later this afternoon. I AM going to get to that snugly blanket, book and steaming tea before this snow stops falling ;)

What are some things you like to do on a quiet snowy day?

Toddler wearing...

When Lucy was still a little baby I wore her a lot in a wrap. As she got bigger and more mobile I slowly have gotten away from wearing her. She also started to hate being confined in the wrap. Recently however, she has entered a stage where she wants to be held and carried ALL the time.

At the very least she wants my attention. At least 90% of it. As you can imagine this has made cleaning, cooking, caring for Jake and all my other daily tasks almost impossible! Not to mention the fact she weighs a whooping 22 and a half pounds! Sometimes my arms pretty much give out from carrying her all around.

Today I figured it was time to pull out the sling. I had bought this when Jake was about 6 months old. He hated it for the most part. The only time he didn't fuss in it was if he was sleeping. I think it's because I introduced baby wearing with him so late. However Lucy LOVED it! This totally surprised me because she is SO busy, and she ALWAYS wants to be exploring and finding something to get into. I figured it would last 5 minutes tops, and she would be squirming to get down. I was so wrong! She hung out there on my hip while I swept, changed laundry, did dishes and picked up some out of place things.

What really surprised me was her reaction. She sat there with her mouth slightly open and her eyes big and intent on watching me. You honestly would have thought I was doing the most exciting things. She babbled a little but never fussed or whined. While the sling worked well I think I will have to find another option as well because I think it would start to bother my back and shoulder after awhile of daily use.

Some things I didn't consider when I first tucked her in the sling was the difference of a toddlers activity vs. the activity level of a baby. I need to remember to allow some extra space when going in and out of doors (we had a couple almost head bangs) and also the distance between her and whatever I'm walking by, her little hands are fast and after everything!

All in all I think it was very successful and could be the solution to ending this less productive week I've just had, and her need for my constant and undivided attention.

Pondering...

This evening I was having a conversation with my father which ended up taking a biblical turn, as they usually do, and we stumbled upon a difference of belief.

Now while I know this is not uncommon I just wonder what causes each of us to read the same passage and take different things from it? My father and I are both the same religion, Seventh Day Adventists. We discuss religion frequently together and we quite often find we have been studying similar topics or pondering similar things without realizing it. It sort of stopped me up short that he had a different view on the topic we were discussing.

I am not a person who believes they are always right or dislikes when someone has a different belief or opinion, instead my mind always wonders to "how did they get that" I want to see where they are coming from, I want to know how their mind works!

I find it fascinating that we as humans can read the same thing and perceive it differently. What an amazing chance for discovery and growth! What a great learning experience.... if we let it! How often do we choose to see the other person as "wrong" and write off their thoughts and opinions because they differ from our own, especially where religion is concerned.

I truly believe that God puts people in our path for a reason. They might be a different religion, they may have different beliefs, they may think very differently from us. However they may also have been put in our path to open our minds to a new concept or thought. However for us to receive this new information, we need to be open minded.

Of course I think this applies to many other aspects of life. Not simply religion. While I am open minded to discussing religion, I am not always open minded to other subjects.....I guess I have some personal growth to achieve!

First movements :)

Today I finally felt the first stirrings of life this pregnancy. Feeling the baby move around inside of me is always one of my favourite parts of pregnancy. I have recently been growing restless to feel those little movements. I was so thrilled today while sitting and having some rare alone time this afternoon I felt several movements!

With this being our third and having two small children who need me, as well as being a stay at home mom now, I find I have a lot less time to focus on this pregnancy. Sometimes to be honest I forget for a moment that I am pregnant! Especially with Lucy being so young still and needing so much time being held and carried I was worried I would, or was already missing a lot of the first small movements at you only feel when your really quiet and relaxed.

In other baby news our ultrasound is This Wednesday so we get to find out really soon if this little one is a boy or girl! As long as they choose to show of course :) I hope they are not being too modest and choose to keep their gender a secret! I think I would burst not knowing! I'm not sure how I waited the whole nine months with Jake to find out. I suppose simply because I had no other choice, they didn't tell at that time.

I'm pretty sure we are going to have a very sad little boy if he doesn't get the brother he is hoping for. I know in time he will be ok with either but I think it would be a nice connection for him to this baby, since he is older, and Lucy and this baby will already be close in age. I sometimes worry that he is going to feel like the odd one out. I don't want him to feel like he is not just as much a part of the family. I certainly don't want him to not be close to his younger siblings.

I'm sure in the end whatever gender the baby turns out to be will fit in the best for our family. Either way I'm excited to see this little one and we're praying most importantly for a healthy baby.

Today I decided not to be brought down!

Yesterday I had a very unmotivated day. I honestly wanted nothing more then to sit on my butt and do nothing all day. However I did not give in to my lack of motivation, instead I overcame it and swept, mopped and dusted all through my house. I also did laundry and dealt with the daily clutter, dishes and maintenance. I even cleaned up the yard some in preparation for winter.

After having a very successful day of cleaning despite not really feeling like cleaning, you can imagine my annoyance when I woke up this morning to find half the table covered in all tools and materials Trevor was using last night to winter proof the windows. There were also several random items left out of their places.

I should probably take a moment to remind everyone that I am not by nature, an organized and tidy person. This is something I have been working very hard on and I have been having great success. Our home has much less clutter and is a lot cleaner now. I am proud of my accomplishments and the progress I have been making, so you can understand how just those few items being left out felt like a huge setback. After all when your trying to keep a home neat and tidy you have to have all members of the family on board.

My first and natural reaction was to get upset, oh heck, to get MAD, and then to shut down. After all if no one else cares about how the house looks then why should I? Why should I invest so much time and effort only to have my fellow housemates, especially my husband, thoughtlessly leave stuff laying all over? Why can't a grown man pick up after himself?

However, I chose to go with another reaction. I instead looked at the things he left out and tried to think about it as he might. The items on the table were probably left out because he did not finish his project and will still need them. He wasn't taking into consideration the fact that we will be busy for the next two nights so those things would be sitting on the table until Thursday, Looking messy and making it impossible for us to use our table.

The empty box that was left on the cupboard was pushed back almost out of sight, so he might have just overlooked it. The empty bread bag, had nothing but the heals, which we feed the chickens, so perhaps he left it there to be taken out to give to them this evening? The letter that needed to be sent and the book that was on the counter...well I haven't come up with a reason why they were left there, but you get the point. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt instead of letting my red headed temper get the better of me.

I had a quick talk with him in which I told him that I could see the way he was probably looking at it, but then explained why the clutter bothered me so much. After all that I still was feeling a little put out and didn't really want to put too much effort into house work today. Once again I decided to be a bigger person then my pervious self would have and I chose two "extra" tasks to complete today. I cleaned the top of the microwave and cleaned under the bathroom sink.

It turns out to be a good thing that I cleaned under the bathroom sink because I discovered it have a leak! Even more then finding the leak was the benefit of my change in mood. By the end of those tasks I felt refreshed and happy again. Seeing the change I made in the appearance of our home inspired me to even clean up what Trev had left out (Which I of course had previously been planning on leaving for him to do later :P). I have gone on and done my housework for the day and not only do I feel good about having another day of positive routines checked off, but I can feel great about being a better person, about making better choices and having better reactions.

I LOVE being a mom!!!

I was sitting here pondering what to write about and I looked up to see my beautiful daughter exploring our living room. I instantly broke out in a huge grin. How could I not? My children are SUCH a blessing!

Trevor and I often say that we don't really need tv since becoming parents. We get a huge kick out of just sitting back and watching Jake and Lucy. Seeing them explore things for the first time, try new things, come up with new ideas and new words or phrases, always proves to be funny or adorable, often both!

While being a parent is by far the hardest and most consuming thing that a person can ever do, it is also by far the most rewarding and important thing a person can ever do. It's times like this when I am reflecting at the privilege I have been given to raise these little blessings, that I wonder how so many people throw away and abuse this privilege. So many parents are tuned out, too busy, or just not interested in their children.

It is so sad to think of what many kids are missing out on by having a checked out parent. Perhaps worse, is what the parents are missing out on by not realizing just how blessed they are to have such amazing little people to love and cherish. Children are a gift. Plain and simple. It doesn't matter when they come, or how they come, they are a gift.

I for one am very thankful for my adorable little gifts. I am thankful that I get to be their mom. That I get the privilege of teaching them new things, watching them grow into little people, with big personalities and comforting them when they need a snuggle and some love

Are YOU making excuses?

I recently have been making an effort to be more involved. More involved with Church (the actual service), in our church outreach activities, in helping the community and in local programs for my children. I have been getting such a blessing from it, which has lead me to wonder, why wasn't I doing this before?!?!

The answer? I was making excuses. I was too busy because I worked full time. I had small children at home. I didn't have time. I was too exhausted to take on more. I couldn't do it. The time wasn't convenient for me, and on and on went my long list of excuses. Don't get me wrong, most of my excuses are valid, I wasn't lying, all the things I used to get me out of taking part were true. I did work full time, I do have small children, am exhausted, my time is limited and it wasn't always convenient.

The one excuse that obviously wasn't true? I couldn't do it. I discovered that I can! I can do almost everything I am asked to do. If it's not something I have done before it's probably something I can learn. I was underestimating myself by using that excuse. I was not allowing myself to live up to my full potential. Now that I am involving myself in more and more I am realizing I can do many things I never would have thought I could and I can do them all at once! I can be organized and manage my time. That is a another trait I always told myself I didn't possess.

Of course now that I am becoming an involved person, I am looking at others who are still making the excuses I used, very differently. While I know that they too are honestly busy, and have many valid excuses for ducking out when asked to participate in something, I now realize something. We are all too busy! Bottom line, we all either have small children who require out constant care, or older children who need drives to their many activities. We may work full time or have previous commitments that we feel use all our time and resources. However if everyone is too busy, then who is going to volunteer their time for all the activities we love to attend?

If everyone is too busy then who will run the sports programs for our children? Who will run youth groups? Who will volunteer to help the homeless or needy? Who will run community programs for our families, or attend them? Who will pick up the garbage that litters the side of your neighbourhood road? Who will help the person who's car is broke down on the side of the road? Perhaps more importantly, what will happen to our humanity? To our sense of community? What will happen to loving your neighbour and serving others?

If no one takes the time to make the time in their busy schedule, to do something for others then we will all be missing out. We will lose the sports programs our children love and the youth groups that teach them such important lessons and connect them to our churches. We will lose our sense of community. Perhaps we will be the ones stranded on the side of the road watching as car after car goes rushing by with the drivers never giving us a second glance, a second thought. However the most important thing we will lose out on is the blessing we receive when we serve others.

When we take the time (even if it's time we really don't feel we have) to involve ourselves in something, anything that is for the benefit of someone other then ourselves, we are richly blessed. We were made to serve others. No matter how much we feel we are sacrificing by giving up our precious time for others, I promise there is so much more to be gained.

I have a much deeper sense of purpose in my life. At the end of the day I feel I have accomplished so much more, and more that is worth while. I'm not claiming to be involved in a million different things. I have taken on what I have been asked to do. I help with the church youth group, teach sabbath school every few weeks, participate in church service a couple times a month, try and get my kids out to the local playgroup as much as possible and have recently made a habit out of regularly donating food and clothes to the local soup kitchen and women's shelter. When I reflect how much time these activities really take out of my life, I have to be honest, the do not require that much. I receive double the blessing for what I give in time and energy.

I hope that this will inspire someone else out there to take a baby step and get involved in something. I promise you won't regret it as long as it's done with a cheerful and willing heart. If everyone would take the time to do even one small service or act that would benefit someone other then themselves I think we would all find that there would be a lot of neighbourly love and sense of community restored to society. Who doesn't want that?

Cleaner house lighter heart!

I recently became a follower of Flylady, and I have to say I'm in love!! With a third child on the way I began looking around out minihome and the walls were closing in, "Stuff" was everywhere, there was no place for it and I was feeling trapped. How could we fit another person (even a little one :) into this space?!?! I was going to go crazy. I was taking out all my stress on my poor family. I knew I needed to get control of my house, but seriously, how could I do that with two small children who seem to need me everytime I start a project?

Then I remembered reading something about the flylady. I looked her up and my life has never been the same. While I am not perfect and do not follow her to the letter my home is a peaceful and happy place once more. I honestly cannot believe how much bigger this minihome looks and feels. the amount of "stuff" I have clearned out is amazing! It truly was just stuff. I cannot even remember half of what I have thrown and donated. I do not miss any of it. You know what else I don't miss at all? All the stress and depression I felt everytime I walked into my house. The defeated feeling that took over as I sat unmotivated on the couch and looked around my home. Clutter is NOT my friend! I feel so much better without it.

The best part of all this is how much happier and full of joy I am. I WANT to play with my kids, spend time with my husband and even clean my house! I LOVE coming home and relaxing, and just looking around at the clean and peaceful enviroment. The whole atmosphere has changed. My kids are happier and behave better, I deal better with it when they don't and Trev and I get along better. I have to admit that it's such a great feeling now when family come over. Before I would cringe when they walked in the door because I didn't feel proud of the chaos, but now I can't wait for them to come in and see our clean and organized home. And they notice!! Let's face it, it's always nice when someone notices your hard work and compliments you on it ;)

It never ceases to amaze me how something as small as a less cluttered and more organized home can have such a dramatic impact on a person, on a whole family. I am so thankful for finding someone who has helped me gain control of another aspect of my life, and helped make my life happier and simpler! The best part? I'm doing it 15 minutes at a time! Who doesn't have time for that?!

couch potato's...the next generation.

Do you ever have a moment where you are correcting your child for something, or feeling exasperated over their actions or choices and you suddenly realize...wow...I DO THAT, THEY GET THAT FROM ME!!!

Well I have had a lot of those recently. From constant snacking, to being a couch potato, it seems everything I see Jacob do that I don't like these days, is a habit he has learned from me.

The other day I caught myself explaining to him that he had meal time and snack times, and he could not constantly be snacking on junk all day. I then realized that as I was telling him this, I was eating crackers....mindlessly. I didn't even register that I was doing it!

We have been having a lot of rainy days so we have gotten into the rut of too much television and movies. On the rare sunny days we have had I have made an effort to get the kids outside. Jacob is simply not interested. He would rather sit on the couch watching television. Unfortunately I fear this is another habit he has got from me, although Trev or is equally to blame for that one.

Ironically enough, while watching a show on television last night I herd a very interesting fact. If the average person watches four hours of television a day, by the time they die they will have watched at least nine years worth of television!! What a waste of nine years! That totally threw me for a loop and encouraged me to spend less time on the couch watching television...after all, who wants to waste nine years of their life being a couch potato? I don't want that for myself, and I certainty don't want to responsible for creating the next generation of unfit, unmotivated, couch potato's!

Back in action!

Well we finally replaced our broken computer, so I no longer have to fight with the relic to write a post! I will be blogging much more often now.

In honor of spring I thought I would write about gardening. A lot of people have the misconception that if you don't own land, or very much land, you cannot have a garden.

Although we have enough land around to plant a garden, the soil here is really just sand. There are also A LOT of ants. There is not much that grows well in sand, and the few things that will grow well end up dying because the ants steal all the nutrients.

For the last few years we have had a little patio (container) garden. We plant some flowers for color, herbs for their cooking usefulness and nice smell and lettuce, peppers and tomato's because they are useful and regenerate all summer long.

There is something calming about gardening. It makes your space appear warmer, and more attractive. We also save some money. While it's not a huge garden, not having to buy even a few things over the summer ends up saving us in the long run!

Help! They even have our kids!!

Recently my three year old became interested in watching cartoons. Before he was never interested in watching any television and few movies. He has about 4 cartoons that we deem ok and that he enjoys watching. However, during the commercial breaks while he is watching these shows I constantly here "I want that" or "hey mommy I want one of those too". Now while Jacob has always enjoyed toys as much as the next child, he has never been, for lack of a better word, this greedy.

I am appalled at how easy it is for retailers and advertisers to get to our children! There minds are so inpressionable at this young age. This is when they are forming values, habits and personalities for themselves. I feel, as a parent, that advertisers do not have any place to try and make an impression on my young child's mind.

I know that I am making the choice to let him watch television in the first place, but seriously, shouldn't a child be able to watch an educational childs program without being subjected to the advertisers cunning and sneaky suggestions that they need every new toy going? I shouldn't have to worry about changing the channel the second the show is over so that he is not subjected to the advertisers mercy.

I understand that as a parent it is my resonsability to guide my child to become a grounded person with good values and morals. I just wish I didn't have to contend with all these flashy ad's so early in my childrens lives.

Cheaper and healthier

I have recently gotten back into using many fresh herbs in my cooking. I generally only do this in the summer since it's cheaper to buy a plant then to buy fresh herbs at the grocery store weekly. Most herbs tend to die in the fall.

I have all the seeds to start herb plants at my house and I have decided it's time to put them to use. I bought one of the cheap plastic greenhouses at Walmart. My house doesn't have great light for growing plants and I'm thinking this may help. I am really excited to get the seeds started and have fresh herbs. I will be growing rosemary, basil, oregano, sage, dill, and cilantro to start.

Cooking with herbs and spices is a great way to add flavor to your meals without adding lots of fat and sodium, both of which are not good for your health. Herbs and spices also allow you to add variety to your diet.

Growing fresh herbs has inspired me to grow some flowers in time for Mother day. We generally buy flowers for everyone, but this year we can grow and pot them ourselves. Not only will it be much cheaper, but we will have put our time in it. That always makes a gift better.

Goal met!

One of the first posts I did on this blog was about setting a goal of only producing one bag of garbage a week as a pose to the three we have been. I am proud to report that for a week and a half we only produced one bag of garbage!!

My new problem is that in a week my recycle bins are over flowing. It looks like I need more recycle bins, or some plastic recycling bags. I was amazed at the things that are able to be recycled now.

I can't believe what a difference our family is going to be able to make by recycling. We will be putting out around 104 less bags of garbage a year! What an environmentally friendly impact!

100% free, 100% FUN!

Trev and I are always trying to come up with great activities we can do together and with the kids at little to no expense. Tonight the boys (Trev and Jake) are having a very special camp-out....in the middle of our kitchen!

When Trev suggested it Jacob went crazy! He was so excited. I'm pretty sure no toy could beat the fun he is having right now. He got to help pitch the tent, set up a bed of blankets and he has even taken snacks in there.

Even Lucy seems to have picked up on the fun. You KNOW it must be fun if a two month old is catching on! She has been in there with them for the last hour just smiling and looking around. She is currently having a little cat nap while Jake and trev are eating their cheddar popcorn.

I'm off to get back to the fun! I just wanted to post this to remind everyone that often times the things in life that are the most fun, and will stay with us the longest, are 100% free!

Yummy salad!

Since it's the middle of the winter and we are all probably feeling a little bluh I thought I would share with you all a very yummy salad I assembled this week. It screams summer and is packed full of healthy Omega's, vitamins and other awesome nutrients.

Leaf lettuce
Tomato
Avocado
Walnut pieces
Grapes
A sprinkle of shredded mozzarella cheese..
and top with spring herb Italian dressing.

Enjoy!

Good old fashion allowance!

I mentioned in a previous post that our three year old has recently gotten a bad case of the give me's and I wants. Trev and I really want to break him of this habit and teach him the value of money. We don't want him to become materialistic.

We have decided to institute a chore list which will be rewarded with an allowance. Jake is already really good about helping us out around the house. He loves to help with chores of any kind. We have decided if we encourage him helping out we stand a better chance at his eagerness to help remaining long term.

Most children today lack an understanding of the value of money. We believe this is a very important lesson to learn. We feel the younger we start teaching our son this lesson the better.

Jake's chore will include picking up his toys, feeding our cat, helping out with dishes, helping with laundry and shoveling in the winter. The last two are obviously not things he can do well but they are his favorite two. He loves to throw the clothes in the washer and dryer and "fold them" (Although I always have to refold) and I have to say since he was about a year and a half our deck has always been free from snow. He keeps Trev on his toes about shoveling!

I am very excited to watch Jacob learn about money. I'm sure his allowance will be spent promptly on cars the first few weeks, but we are eager to teach him the importance of saving and smart spending.

Baby basics

I know there are a lot of new moms on my friends list, so I thought I would share with you what started my whole journey into a simpler and more Eco friendly lifestyle.

When we found out we were expecting our second child Trev and I both knew we wanted me to be able to stay home even after my maternity leave is up. We also knew to achieve this goal we were going to have to make some big changes. I started researching some small changes we could make in how we would care for the new baby that would make a big difference.

I calculated the cost of diapers for a year and realized we were going to be spending about 1300.00-1500.00 dollars a year for as long as we needed diapers. That is buying the "cheaper" brands too. I then priced cloth diapers. I could buy cloth diapers and everything I needed to get started (wet bags etc) for about 400.00dollars.

I chose to purchase the more expensive kind that would grow with Lucy from 7-35 pounds, which meant only purchasing them once instead of 3 times as she grew. So the more expensive diaper ended up saving us even more money. Instead of spending 1300.00-1500.00 dollars for two or three years we spent 400.00 dollars once. What an incredible savings.

I have to say I generally hate laundry but I do not find it hard to stay on top of washing the diapers and I love love LOVE them. Lucy has not had ONE single diaper rash. I can double stuff a pocket diaper before bedtime and not have to worry about a leaky diaper because it is so absorbent.

Next came food. Formula is around 1500.00 dollars a year. Breast milk is free! breastfeeding also has so many health benefits for both mom and baby. with our son I only breastfed a couple weeks, this time it's been two months and I don't plan on stopping until at least a year. Not only is it saving us a lot of money, providing Lucy and I With great health benefits and great bonding, it's also so incredibly convenient. When I leave the house I only need a change of clothes and a couple diapers. Breastfeeding is Eco friendly, financially beneficial AND it's making my life simpler.

Lastly I have started baby wearing. With Jake I started this late and he didn't always love being cooped up in a sling or carrier. This time instead of pulling out the bouncy seat and everything else that takes up so much space I bought a wrap. I am in love. When she gets fussy I just put on my wrap and pick how I want to put her in. She will sleep for hours and my arms are free to clean, play with Jake or cook.

There has also been a significant amount of research done to suggest baby wearing has some undeniable benefits. In many cultures worldwide baby wearing is regarded as the norm. It provides baby with the comfort, bonding and security they need and mom with the freedom she needs to execute her daily tasks.

Dr Sears a highly regarded pediatrician has even suggested that baby wearing increases baby's intelligence. babies who are worn in a sling or wrap etc. are always around eye level and experience interactions between those around them more thoroughly then babies who are not carried. They have more chance to learn as a result.

Through these changes in parenting my life has become simpler and my bank account has not been dented in the least since having Lucy. We will save around 3000.00 dollars in the first year and around 1500.00 dollars for a year or two after. That is money that we would have had to spend on baby supplies. I never have to mess with bottle washing and prep, I'm not clogging land fills with thousands of disposable diapers and my three year old can still have my time since my hands are not always full.

I am a lot calmer parent and feel a lot less stressed. I figure if these three small changes can eliminate some stress, simplify my life, help my bank account and the environment, then imagine what a few more could do?

*For more information on cloth diapering you can go to www.littletreehugger.ca They have two locations in Canada and will ship throughout the country. They can also answer all your questions.

**For more information on breastfeeding I strongly suggest googling Dr Sears and/or Dr Jack Newman.

Who knew?

Since we are trying to have a simpler AND more Eco friendly lifestyle I am trying to find other uses for things I might give away or dispose of otherwise. Instead of buying something new to fill a purpose I have I am discovering I can reuse other items sometimes.

For example, I needed a compost container to keep in the house so instead of buying one which I normally would have done I am using a plastic container that cream puffs we bought for Christmas came in. It has a lid and is medium size, perfect for what I need!

I have also found from past experience that when decorating you can be really creative with items found at second hand stores. I have purchased several items for a dollar or less and turned them into great decorating props such as candle holders, that I get compliments on quite frequently. Things like fancy dessert plates made great candle holders for large candles.

De-cluttering is giving me a great chance to check out all the "junk" I have in my house and look at it with fresh eyes. I'm so excited to see what else I can find new uses for. I'll never dispose of things so quickly again. Who knew that your trash could turn out to be YOUR treasure and not just someone else's like the saying goes?!?!

Too much STUFF!

I'm not sure about those of you reading this, but I know my house is over run with "stuff". Random things. Way too much of it. Are we all just slaves to this "stuff"? I know sometimes I feel that way!

There is a gadget out there to preform just about any and every task. Most of it has only one use and it all takes up space. We live in a mini home, so we really notice just how much space things take up. It also tends to take away a lot of our time and can raise our stress level when we can't find the gadget we want or when it doesn't work properly.

Let me better explain what I mean. There is my bread maker that I love. It is one of the larger kitchen appliances (aside from the fridge and stove etc), and has only one use. So the rest of the time it just sits there, taking up space on my counter.

We have Television's, but now most people want either HD cable or satellite, both require an extra box to sit near the Television. Then we have DVD players, and then we need a VCR to play all those VHS types we required BEFORE we got DVD players. All these things then need a stand or entertainment unit to hold them.

Then there are children's items. For babies there are exersaucers, bouncy seats, jumpers, floor mats, swings and much more which all take space, space and more space. Not that many years ago all these things did not exists, and yet some how all our brains developed perfectly fine and our parents managed to raise us without all this extra stuff.

Older children who live in this time are Lucky, their parents however are not so much! There is every toy imaginable available to these children. Anything you could thing of and then some. Not only are there a billion different toys, but there are at least 5-10 models of the same toy. Children tend to think they need all 10 models of all billion toys. Children today are much more tuned in to the differences between every toy and model of toy as well as the marketing for them then I ever remember being. My three year old has recently gotten a very bad case of the give-Me's. Not something I want to foster.

He is three years old and has 4 large toy boxes holding more cars then any one child needs and no two are the same. This always amazes me because we have not spoiled him. However by the time you receive gifts at Christmas and birthdays for 4 years from a large family on one side and a Nana who loves to spoil her grandchildren on the other, you would be amazed at what one can accumulate. Unfortunately my son has every toy cataloged in his brain, which makes de-cluttering very hard.

Most days I feel like a slave to all this stuff. Constantly picking it up, rearranging it, cleaning it and maintaining it. These things that are suppose to improve our life and make it easier/better are actually creating more work and less family time and relaxation.

When was the last time you sat in a room with your family with no television on, no computer, to video games and no distractions? When was the last time you were all focused on the same thing and not all off doing your own activities? Even when we "relax" we are not giving our brains a chance to relax. We wonder why we all have sleep problems and are stressed, our minds can't relax because they are so overstimulated with technology.

We have come to the point where we are ready to de-clutter our lives and get back to the basics. Less television, more family time. Less toys, more imagination. Less stuff and more space. Less stress and more fun.

Instead of buying baked goods I'm going to bake them myself. Less money spent and more time with my son who loves to cook with me. Instead of having an overflowing closet I'm going to have a few great pieces I can mix and match and more money to spend on other things. Instead of spending the evening sitting on the couch vegging out on television, the computer and video games I'm going to spend my time doing constructive things. Relaxing will be a good book, a walk or running around playing with my kids.

The basics. What we all need to get back too. A simpler time when we all had less but were all much happier. We had more time and space. We were more family centered and there were less divorces, and less troubled children and more good people filled with good values and work ethic.

Don't get me wrong, I think technology has a place and can be very useful, as can a lot of my "stuff". I just don't want to be consumed by it all and over run with it. I want a simpler and less cluttered life. So let the de-cluttering begin!

No unnecassary shopping.

This should be easy right? The biggest thing that I buy (and I'm the one who buys the most in the house since I'm a woman!) that is unnecessary is probably clothing. Since having Lucy I haven't been in town much, which helps this.

We have decided to sort through our clothing and clean out the things we never wear and donate them to Charity. I have noticed in doing this that I tend to lean toward classic, simple fashion. I like a touch of sophisticated when I'm going out, but still classically so.

This should make the clothing thing simple. I have figured out what my wardrobe needs and am working on filling it with Christmas money and gift cards. I'm keeping in mind the fact that I don't want to date myself with outrageous fashionable pieces that will be outdated in a few weeks.

Lucy is set for clothes until she is 16...ok well maybe not that long! She does have a lot of clothes though, which is great because we don't have to buy any until she is probably a year. Jake also has a lot of clothing, but grows like a weed. I am resigned to shopping second hand or sales for the kids since they are in and out of clothes so much. Something I learned from parenthood the first time around.

Trevor is a true man, give him a few pieces and he is good to go! He does love to shop for jeans though. He never wears them very long and they end up as work pants...we will have to work on that!

I am sure that as we go on there will be more things we learn to cut, but for now my goal is to go all year without shopping for clothes (for me) unless it is something that is really truly needed. I also plan on only buying what is needed for the kids. I have a feeling this will really save us a lot.

This will also mean closets that are not overstuffed, which means a neater house! I'm actually getting excited about this because it will be a true challenge. Just how little money can I get by on spending on clothes? I guess we will find out!